When Yoga Hurts

I started to practice yoga in most stressfull life episod (at least at the time). How stress affects our physical body is nicely explained in the video and I am about to tell you from my own experince.

I was 18 and I failed my final exams in school, something I never even imagine to happen. My world was crushing in front of me, I failed. During two months in which I had to revise A LOT, I had no time to tend to my wounds, I was broken beyond repair. I was in emotional and physical pain. I was crying every single day. My body was hurting – my shoulders, backs, heart..

When a month of every day studying was behind me, I finally got out of the house to do anything else. I went to Reebok event to try basically anything. I never done yoga before, but that day I didnt care about anything, I got myself to power yoga class in the middle of summer. Imagine what was weather like that day!
I was sweating like hell, from the first minute, regreting my crazy desicion every single minute of the class. I am not the kind of person who gives up, so I endured the whole 60 minutes class in 40 celsius hot weather, even though I was on the edge of collapse.

I survived my very first yoga lesson and felt in love with it! I can easily call it a bliss point – I never felt such a relief from my body, brain and soul ever before. I became a yoga junkie, after three months of doing power yoga at least twice a week I started teaching kids yoga in local primary school. In our country students signs up to a company which provides services to local primary schools, students does not have to have a certificate from the field they want to teach in. All the company cares for is a good review of the kids and therefore their parents on your work. I had very rough idea of my first kids yoga class plan, but I guess my extraverted temper aid me a lot. I relized that I love to teach kids yoga after very first lesson. Ive been teaching three years now, broadening my field of teaching widely. But lets dive in detail about that in another article.

Following was happening somewhere during september 2015 to this march.
In the autumn I started crying during a relaxation at the end of my at that time favorite power yoga class.
At the time I decided to go to school of kids yoga instructor, along with having exams in school
(I study wellness and balneo), having rough time with my parents and starting a new romantic relantionship. Needless to say that it was a disaster. Almost three years later after my failure at high school.

I was in very bad finacial situation, had very difficult relantionship with parents – experinced the worst Christmass holidays ever in my life – listening just to gloryfied stories of my old classmates, old friends and basicaly about anyone who was doing more and better absolutely everything – than myself. January came and I was living just with the knowledge that if I pass out on the street an ambulance arrive for me in less then 8min.
I was not sleeping for two weeks, had a panic attack – great heart pain, back and shoulder freezed, I was not even able to move my head form side to side before my first aid exam lasting for three days (probably reliving the fear of my high school failure), to top it all – the guy I was dating with did not even ask my how I am, after I was hit by the car (I was in shock – even more after his lack of caring).. I ended our relantionship and I spent a whole week right before my exam on the floor of my apartment, with a huge pain in my heart, crying, learnig, not eating or sleaping. To soothe the pain in my heart this kind of breathing technique helped me a great deal, it is called Cardiac coherence.
To my huge surprise I passed my first aid exam in such a state. Beeing totally drained. With a week ahead of me to revise for my yoga instructor exam.

I failed again and failed hard. I suffered so much pain and exhaustion like never before. Only after breaking down there, spilling out all my problems I was adviced to visit a psychologist. I did not go – from the family I came for I was believing that any illness is in its essence a lazyness and I was commited to not be lazy. Around this time I stopped to be able practice yoga myself alltogether. It became very painfull to me – physically and emotionally. I could teach though and paradoxically it was the only thing at that time from with I was getting energy. (I was teaching a combination of yoga and boulder climbing – once a week).

It took me almost another month, before I arrived to psychiatric first aid office in tears and in absolute exhaustion of both my mind and body. I was staying in my bed majority of the day, just to gain enough energy to go out for several hours. I was neglecting school a lot.
Interesting here was that my mind was totally exhausted, but when I exhausted my body to extreems – like five hours fitness in school I felt good. So good, that this overal exhaustion became bearable for a several days. Anyway at the clinic I got antidepressants and was adviced to find a psychoterapist. To ease on expactions I had on myself – I was out of home doing something 7 days a week – I put the word rest on the same level as word lazy. And this lifestyle was killing me.

It took me a huge amount of time to come to terms with my antidepressants and anxyliotics. It was less difficult to do so, when I discover that I was able to sleep, after several weeks.

I write this article eight months later. Iam still taking antidepressants and going to psychotherapy, teaching kids, adult and family yoga more than ever before and slowly starting to practice yoga on my own again. And Iam starting to learn how to love myself more, to avoid such event again.
This experince was very difficult and painfull for me, but I learned a lot about a huge power of mine to survive and get through. Yoga is a huge part of my life and in a way, even though I was not able to practice it physically for several months and I needed chemical help from a pills, it saved me. Iam not afraid to say that cardiac coherence and teaching yoga saved my life.

How stress works in human body – Crash course:

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